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nothing is really difficult

by dilated

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1.
transcendent 05:09
lyrics
I haven’t got a clue Puzzled and confused An enigma to myself Until I delve into self Trapped again To a blank space I’m condemned How does one fill nothing I’ll keep this in mind until the very end Young & maybe a little depressed Trying to narrate my unconscious Hoping these words will undress Me from my self This is what I’d fill nothing with Hung up on a low mood I’m Stuck like glue A cue to invert This post euphoric hue How can I begin To be myself If I’m wearing Someone else How can I begin To open my mouth And let it come out Inhale, exhale An enigma to myself TODAY, EVERYTHING CAME FULL CIRCLE LIKE WE JUST STARTED AGAIN My outline is coloured in By a culture I create Time to let go How can I begin To be myself If I’m wearing Someone else How can I begin To open my mouth And let it out I must always evolve Oh your thoughts just may be where you’re meant to be
2.
bad dream 04:19
lyrics
Thawed by coffee and cigarettes Non-stop song in my head 'Cos if it stops I'm havin' a bad dream Thawed by coffee and cigarettes Will this song ever end 'Cos if it stops again I'm havin' a bad dream deluded addict I’ve lost my stead is it even me talking in my head 'cos usually it's noise instead Thawed by coffee and cigarettes is it me talking in my head I'm having a bad dream Thawed by coffee and cigarettes That song's on again 'Cos if it stops again Put me back in place Home in your weightless space you’re some form of sublime conquest over absurdity and awfulness Take me home Your song is stuck in my head Nonstop nonsense Oh I hope it never ends Oh I hope it never ends Thawed by coffee and cigarettes is it me talking in my head ‘Cos if it stops I’m havin’ another
3.
third eye 03:07
lyrics
Forever falling into exuberant dance of light Lusting to unfold shape shift until we take shape all and none occurring we seek to numb ourselves drunk with lucidity we submerge ourselves I don't know where I've been or where I'm going or what I've seen but I've been behind these closed eyes so damn long that I don't know if I've gone blind I might open my third eye I might get into something something beyond my reach I know and I see I am all I've ever been travelling inward now we see who I have been, all along Forever falling inwards Endless dance of light Forever falling inwards Endless dance of light I don’t know but I try I try until the light fades and life decays and light remains All I really need to know now evolved now we see We seek to be bigger than we’ve ever been I know and I’ve been I might open my third eye I might get into something something beyond my reach
4.
safe space 03:57
lyrics
Sitting on the lounge room floor, Sun barely slept, no care to the core Stale smoke fills my lungs Finally this tension has been undone I didn’t think I’d find These reflections of mine I feel at home in your safe space This is how I describe The boundaries of my mind For when I'm with my tribe I'm unbound I unwind (I see myself reflect) Flowers bloom from my chest Climbing up on rooftops Just to clear my head This blue hue saturates my view Shame I’m hard to read 'Cos there’s a messy room in my head But I would not be me Without the mirrors I see in your eyes
5.
breathe 02:10
info
6.
dreamer 04:21
lyrics
I think I'm losing it again, oh no This anxiety is crushing me again Dilate my eyes and hopefully I’ll see again, oh no Lucidity Oh what are you to me Is this reality All I can see Contrast is key Dreamer can’t you see? I don’t know what I’m doin’ here Why I can’t I say the words I feel? Why is this fear holding on to me? Who’s this figure in the mirror that I can see? Contrast is key Why can’t I communicate with me? I swing like a pendulum Eyes wider than the sun Now I realise all this time I’ve just been finding myself Lucidity A dream I can’t believe (Dreamer can’t you see?) Dreamer Don’t you let it fade Dream again ‘Til your days of shame Are over now
7.
let it flow 05:57
lyrics
Waiting for someone to save me yeah patiently waiting Yeah the feelings let them flow Are we ever gonna let it go? Who knows? I hope I vow I’ll show The emotions that are real Oh I’ve been there Oh I’ve been scared The emotions they are real Oh I’ve been there Yeah! Waiting for someone to save me Waiting, patiently waiting Waiting for the feelings come and go Waiting for someone to save me Waiting, patiently waiting Waiting yeah the feelings let it flow Let it flow Yeah the feelings let them show Let them show / let them flow Yeah the feelings come and go Waiting for someone to save me Waiting, patiently waiting Waiting for the feelings come and go Waiting for someone to save me Waiting, patiently waiting Waiting yeah the feelings let it flow God, remember me God, save me I’ve been feelin so lost for a minute I been feeling so lost yeah (forgive it) now Nows the time to realise Nows the time to fix your mind Yeah the futures due to now Yeah the future waits for no(w) one but you If you want extacy You can just make it be In your own state you see You ain’t got take nothin from nobody You can get high for free Control your mind and be whoever you wanna be You can’t be set free until you change your mentality EMPTY THE HEART OPEN THE LUNG FILL THE PAGE WE'VE JUST BEGUN FILL THAT HAZY HUE WITH SOMETHING NEW Look inside your mind Make sure that you realise Waiting for someone to save me Waiting, patiently waiting Waiting for the feelings come and go Waiting for someone to save me Waiting, patiently waiting Waiting yeah the feelings let it go I can’t keep waiting It’s only me That’s going to save myself Waiting for someone to save me Waiting, patiently waiting Waiting for the feelings come and go Waiting for someone to save me Waiting, patiently waiting Waiting yeah the feelings let it flow
8.
opia 04:59
lyrics
I’m in another state displaced from self I await the day the sun will rise again lost in the opia of your eyes It seems I’m me only now and then I crave to feel somethin’ again It seems I’m me only now and then I crave to feel somethin’ again I see her eyes (In the middle of the night) Mind open wide (I’m bathed in light again) I will be here with you always until the sun dies, I will find you in the opia of my eyes
9.
what does a mirror see, when it looks at itself? 06:00
lyrics
I’m not free If you’re not free You’re not free If I’m not free I’m not free If you’re not free Let us be Let our eyes dilate I’m not free If you’re not free You’re not free If I’m not free I’m not free If you’re not free Let us be Lend me your eyes And hopefully we’ll see Differently How deep do you go What’s holding you From throwing yourself Into the world Don’t cling To a world view That doesn’t Serve you I’m not afraid You’re not afraid I’m not afraid You’re not afraid Oh won’t you lend me Your eyes, so I can see Oh, I can see Changed my perspective I got direction Was seeking affection Found it in my reflection Down and out I was feeling neglected Round and round Was trippin’ when steppin’ Power out I look past my presence How about I look at my essence Feeling the pressure Tryna get it together Asking myself one question How do we lose depression Let our eyes dilate I’m not free If you’re not free You’re not free If I’m not free Lend me your eyes And hopefully we’ll see Differently . . . Let us be Chest compressed We must breathe Blessed we be The air so sweet Swear we’re the heirs To a chair of dreams Realming round every sound I see Four three two I got floating feet All one beat All one heart Mother Earth Births our being Turn our hands to work on feeling Burn our fears Hear us we’re healing *a Tidal wave of tones we’re breaking free* I’m not free If you’re not free You’re not free If I’m not free All I want Is to be free again
10.
saudade 02:59
lyrics
Once upon a time, there was a young man who looked to the sky and said, "I wish I knew who I am. Where I begin and end. I cannot be explained by the society I live in. I won't settle for being a face in the crowd. I want to know what made me what I am. I want to understand my purpose in this life." And the answer came in the form of a dream. They stood atop a pyramid, gazing into the sun. Then it happened. They came face to face with a shadow who had the face of a young man. The shadow told them, "I am you. All your life, you have been you. All along you have been searching for a reason to go on. All you need is a reason to go." Their old self had returned — a mask endlessly shapeshifting, reflecting its surrounding like a blurred mirror. A carcass, unrecognisable to its host. Yet it’s mind, a transcendental playground of thought - lost in possibilities; revealing and recursing into itself through delusions and nonsense. The very framework that formalises their version of self amongst the world. Making sense, to them, wasn’t the point. The traveler then went to the nearest beach and for the first time, he saw his shadow dancing on the sand. He took his shadow and climbed down the pyramid to the nearest mirror. "Look my shadow, I am you," they exclaimed. A face in the mirror drew closer and began to speak; “You are the catalyst of change. The walls of society are closing in on you and yours. If you are all that you believe, you are now different from the sum of your parts. If you are all that you believe, you are a force to be reckoned with. If you believe you are one thing, you will be something else. Balance is found in realisation”. So, just a short background on this piece: I was pretty stuck on what to write, but I wanted graze on the metaphorically fertile ground of the shadow and the nature of reflection. But in all honesty, this prose was generated by an artificial intelligence algorithm (and obviously adulterated by me). The only prompt I gave it was this “If I were to write a story, and have the words transcend the page, it would go like this” and here we are.
11.
this is what I'd fill nothing with 03:28
lyrics
My hindsight’s a year older now Yet I wasn’t always myself Wasn’t I, wasn’t I How does one hide in an empty room? This is what I’d fill nothing with An enigma to myself I must’ve left my feelings on the shelf This depression’s not A chemical reaction We wear, these masks Every fuckin’ day Just to hide from ourselves I was a dreamer That only refused to dream ‘Cos if it stops again I’m havin’ a bad dream My hindsight’s a year older now Yet I wasn’t always myself How do you know If you’ve ever been yourself Before
12.
dissociate 05:55
lyrics
I dissociated again today Wearin' masks 'round my friends I fell out of place *again* *But* I don't know why I'm feelin' pretty down today I *just* don't know why 'Cos I dissociate sometimes To contradict myself *My internal rhyme* *I can't seem to comprehend* *& I don't know why* *It's been me the whole time* Oh, dreamer Let these masks Fade away Your true colours Are starting to get pretty Loud again From all that time spent With dilated eyes This life means nothing Without something (All it takes is a widening of the eyes) To give it all up for I'm feelin' pretty down today But I don't know why I'm wearin' masks 'round my friends Do they know who I am I can't keep, pushin' me away Hidin' away I can finally say I haven't be me & I don't know why I dissociated again today But I don't know why I'm wearing' masks again I dissociated From reality again & I don't know why I dissociated again today & I don't know why It's been me the whole time But I don't why These feelings overcome Everything I've become 'Cos I dissociate sometimes To contradict myself I dissociated again today But I don't know why Wearing' masks 'round my friends Won't make me who I am

about

This is my first major work to come out of my time spent at Equinox (our neat collective of artists & misfits), with a deep plunge into more alternative elements, I discuss the idea that the way you look at something, determines how it makes you feel & the interplay that underlies this.

credits

released February 21, 2022

Huge thanks to Nephi The Crow, Zechdualis & Klompy for featuring & bringing their energy to this work.

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all rights reserved

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about

dilated image

dilated SA, Australia

i triplet inward;
hope i find some
self-sembled,
sense of self

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